Internal Family Systems guides us to think about systems, inside and out. It asserts that the psyche is plural. We all have a theoretical infinity of subpersonalities or parts of different ages who appear on a developmental timeline and, since they have feelings and thoughts, goals and preferences, are much like people. On the other hand, they live in the fantastical, non-material universe of the subjective, and are not like people who live in the material world in many ways. They can communicate through multiple senses (physical sensations, hearing, and sight), appear and disappear, travel through time, and shift shape. When one part gets shamed or terrorized, other parts (called managers in IFS) take on proactive protective roles. Their job is to prevent that experience from ever happening again. As some of them become critical and harsh another set of protectors (called firefighters in IFS) reacts with various distracting and soothing options that can also get extreme with all kinds of addictive processes, including eating disorders, risky sex, gambling, and so on. The goal in IFS is not to control any of these parts but to get in relationship with them and learn what they need. Happily, we have what our parts need, a resource IFS calls the Self, which is characterized by curiosity, kindness, courage, and compassion among many other centered, beneficial qualities. Accordingly, the first portion of IFS therapy is devoted to befriending protective parts and earning their willingness to meet the Self and allow access to injured parts; the second portion, often much quicker, is devoted to the Self being the good attachment figure for injured parts (exiles in IFS) and being with them in whatever way they need so they can let go of (unburden) distorted beliefs about their value (I’m unlovable) and identity (I’m defective and bad). The ultimate goal is internal cooperation and balance amid bouts of harmony under a broad umbrella of Self-leadership inside and out.
